Friends Can Break Your Heart
I have been avoiding writing this letter. The pen in my hand touches the paper lightly but no words appear. I didn’t write hard enough, I didn't want to. My mind was racing while I stared at the paper. “What do I say?” I thought to myself. All the words in my head couldn't form a sentence.
I guess I can start off by saying this: my friend, you broke my heart. Yes, friends can break each other hearts. No, this isn’t a romantic heartbreak...more like a feeling of loss. As if I have lost a close family member. The most painful part of it all is the way it ended. I went from speaking to you daily to not speaking to you at all.
While I told you all my thoughts, you just ignored me knowingly. The fact that I thought something was wrong with me although you were the one that changed. Maybe our energies just don’t match anymore. Maybe there is just a lot going on and you can't handle being my friend. So were we really friends? Am I just a convenience to you?
This letter is where I got this week's motivation; friends can break your heart too! Especially the ones that have been around for years. I invested years into that friendship and it flooded in less than 24 hours. I never got to say what I wanted and I didn’t find closure until today.
Today, I choose to love myself first. I have spent so much time checking and caring for others expecting that they would do the same. This is a perfect time in my life to evaluate myself love and respect. Why? Because I would stop doing important things such as homework to make time for people who wouldn’t make time for me.
Have you experienced something similar?
NOW IT IS TIME TO MOVE ON
First, I have learned that we cannot control others. What is going on in someone else's life has nothing to do with you. The way they act toward you also has nothing to do with you. You cannot hold your happiness in other people’s hands.
People’s mood changes often. I also learned that a lot of people do not want to discuss what is bothering them. Instead, they just stop responding because that is easier.
Once, I asked a friend why she was being so distant. It all started around New Year's Eve. I was not invited to her party. I was surprised but, I stood positive. “Oh well…” I thought to myself, “Why stress something I cannot change?” Since then, she’s been distant. When I tried to approach her and asked what was wrong, I received a half-ass explanation.
So what did I do?
I MOVED ON...
If moving on means unfollowing someone, unfollow them. If moving on means deleting their number then delete it. Moving on all depends on you. The idea is to accept things are no longer working out. Take the time to acknowledge your feelings. If you do not face your feelings, you will never move on.
In the end, only we can control our outcomes meaning we control how others affect us. People change and approach things differently. Speaking from experience it is hard to let a long term friendship go but, it is harder to stay in a friendship that doesn't exist.